Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What is PCOS?


For those of you who do not know what it is, let me explain a bit about PCOS.
PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is a hormonal disorder among women. 6 to 10% of women have this disorder and do not know that they even have it.

This disorder can affect a woman's fertility, hormones, menstrual cycle, production of insulin, blood vessels, heart and appearance. There are ways that a doctor will be able to tell if a woman has PCOS by some of the characteristics that are presented. The characteristics that doctors look for are: the high levels of a male hormone, which can cause facial hair, irregular or no menstrual cycle and there may be some cysts on the ovaries. The cysts are fluid filled sacs.
No one knows the exact cause of PCOS. Women with PCOS frequently have a mother or sister with PCOS. But there is not yet enough evidence to say there is a genetic link to this disorder. Many women with PCOS have a weight problem. So researchers are looking at the relationship between PCOS and the body's ability to make insulin. Insulin is a hormone that regulates the change of sugar, starches, and other food into energy for the body's use or for storage. Since some women with PCOS make too much insulin, it's possible that the ovaries react by making too many male hormones, called androgens. This can lead to acne, excessive hair growth, weight gain, and ovulation problems.

In women with PCOS, the ovary doesn't make all of the hormones it needs for any of the eggs to fully mature. They may start to grow and accumulate fluid. But no one egg becomes large enough. Instead, some may remain as cysts. Since no egg matures or is released, ovulation does not occur and the hormone progesterone is not made. Without progesterone, a woman's menstrual cycle is irregular or absent. Also, the cysts produce male hormones, which continue to prevent ovulation.

There are certain signs and symptoms that determine if a woman has PCOS. Some of the signs are: absence of menstrual cycle or irregular cycles, infertility or no ability to become pregnant because of not being able to ovulate, increasing hair growth on the face or stomach, pelvic pain, acne or oily skin, extreme weight gain around the waist, type 2 diabetes (caused by the extreme weight gain in the mid section), high cholesterol, high blood pressure, thinning hair, patches of dark skin around the neck or arms, and sleep apnea. As far as the high cholesterol and high blood pressure, that is associated with the type 2 diabetes
There is no cure for PCOS; however, there are treatments to help manage this disorder. The ways that a woman can manage this disorder are: birth control pills, medication for diabetes such as metformin (glucophage), medicine for fertility, medicine for increased hair growth or extra male hormones, surgery and last but not least is getting down to a healthy weight.

Unfortunately, with disorder comes the risk of developing other serious conditions. Irregular menstrual periods and the absence of ovulation cause women to produce the hormone estrogen, but not the hormone progesterone. Without progesterone, which causes the endometrium to shed each month as a menstrual period, the endometrium becomes thick, which can cause heavy bleeding or irregular bleeding. Eventually, this can lead to cancer. Women with PCOS are also at higher risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Getting the symptoms under control at an earlier age may help to reduce this risk.Right now, doctors are doing the best they can and doing more research about this disorder. There is hope for all the women who are faced with PCOS. There are doctors out there who specialize in the hormones and the reproductive system. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/240411/polycystic_ovarian_syndrome_definition.html?cat=52

I normally shave my face EVERY day to make sure that the hair is hidden. But I purposely left it alone for three days so I could take pics and post them on here.






Monday, January 19, 2009

PCOS could kill me

So I just found out some awful information about a disease I have called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS for short. Apparantly it is one of the leading causes of uterine and cervical cancer. Because I am not able to be treated I am at an extremely high risk and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. So now I have to deal with my weight, hair in places that hair doesn't belong, the inability to get pregnant, and a high chance of getting a "woman's" cancer. It kinda makes it seem like it just isn't worth it anymore.


I found out that because I have PCOS the ONLY way I can possibly lose weight is to go on a very strict "no white foods" diet. No carbs, sugar or dairy. That means no pasta, breads, cereal. Most of the soups I eat use milk. Almost everything we eat as a family has carb rich foods like bread and pasta in it because that is all we can afford. I'm almost 300 pounds and I feel like I am completely losing control of everything in my life. This blog was supposed to be about me accepting my body the way it is, but this is getting to be too much. It's ridiculous. I could accept myself at 225 or even 250 because then at least I could go into Wal-Mart and buy an outfit. But if this keeps going I won't even have that option.


On a happier note, the whole family got out for a nice walk with the dogs today. We went to Sike's Lake and just enjoyed the beautiful sunshine we are blessed with right now. It was so nice to get out with Charles and Mary and just do something that doesn't involve eating, TV or movies. Hopefully it's something we can start to do more often.


Anyway, I don't have anything else going on right now. Just trying to deal with this new load of information and keep my sanity.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Free flowing thoughts (kinda weird)

Life is so short. So often the days seem to drag on and on, and it doesn't seem like anything changes. But then one morning you wake up and nothing is the same anymore. I wonder why time is such a confusing thing.

Death, birth, life itself is constantly moving, and changing things. Who I am today is not the same person I was yesterday and the person I will be tomorrow is unknown to me. All these thoughts are rushing through my head and while I want to figure them out, I love the feeling of just letting the flow take me where it wants me.


Tomorrow I will attend a funeral of a woman I knew fairly well. We had been friends but drifted apart when she moved away and I tried to help her daughter. It was too hard to be there for her child and still be her friend. I still cared about her a lot and saw a lot of good in her but she didn't or couldn't do right by this child. So I will go to her funeral and mourn with her family, hoping that she realizes that I did really care.


I say that I alienated her because of her attitude towards her daughter, but if I am truly honest then I have to admit that in the past few years I have been alienating everyone. I don't feel like I can be the friend that you all deserve, so I stick to myself and I don't allow anyone to get close to me. I have such a hard time committing to anything or anyone. I just want to be left alone, but at the same time I am so damn lonely that it hurts. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Am I going crazy? Sometimes I wish I could just completely lose my mind. I'd love to just shut down and not worry about anything. I'd love to be shut in a padded room and not be inhibited. Just bounce off the walls, lol.


Anyway, this was kind of a weird entry but I wanted to write something. Thanks for reading and I promise to try and make more sense next time.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Pain and confusion, sounds like an emo song

So I lost one of my best friends on Sunday. Tacky has been with me since 1999 and has seen and heard so much of my heartache. I don't know what I'll do without him. He was one of the best cats I've ever had and I had him longer then any other animal. I know this has nothing to do with body image and all that but he was so important to me that I feel I need to write about him.


As far as my body image goes, it's been real low lately. I'm participating in this 4 week workshop called Figure Fabulous. A friend of mine is running it and asked me to help with a bunch of the behind the scenes stuff. For payment I got to attend the workshop for free. ($100 is what I would have to pay otherwise.) I thought maybe it would be okay, because the focus is supposed to be on the mind. But what I didn't realize is that the focus is actually on "Changing your mind to change your body". So basically it's going against everything I'm trying to do in my life, which is ACCEPT MYSELF THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW, IN THIS BODY!

I guess I still do want to lose weight, but I don't want it to be the whole reason for living. Life is too short. I just want to live it while I can. I have to admit, I would like to lose enough to feel comfortable again. As it is my stomach feels like a lead weight sitting on my lap. That part does drive me crazy. I don't know, I am just rambling at this point so I will sign off for now.
Hugs, kisses and belly bumps!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Introduction


Hey everyone! I guess I'm supposed to introduce myself a little bit on here, or at least explain my blogging. I am fighting a battle here and everywhere. This isn't a blog about losing weight. Yes, I go to the gym. Yes, I try to eat healthy. Therefore there's a chance that some weight loss may occur since this health stuff is all new to me. However, I'm not TRYING to lose weight. My whole life I've tried to lose weight and you know what? I've just kept gaining. I've tried every diet that I could. I've beat myself up. I'm not doing that anymore. My life focus is now to just be as healthy as I possibly can and to learn to love myself. That isn't easy. This blog is about THAT battle. Did you know that the average woman is a size 14? Not a 6, or a 4, and definitely not the 2 or 0 that the media tries to force on us. Did you know that in some countries, countries that have not been Americanized, fat is considered beautiful? Yup, it's seen as a sign of wealth to have a fat wife.

Now I'm not saying to sit around and eat chocolate and cake all day and expect to be healthy. You DO have to exercise. You DO have to eat healthy and as natural as possible. Trans fat is bad. High fructose corn syrup is even worse. Too much sugar, fat of any kind or calories is bad. But you don't have to starve to be healthy. You don't have to starve to be beautiful.


Anyway, that's me. My blog will be about my life and my struggle to feel pretty when the world tells me that I'm not.