Tattoo

So my appointment with USA Immigration is on Monday and I am terrified. They have so much power and there is not much I can do at this point other then hope. They could make it so that I have no choice but to move back to Canada.

If that happens I will lose everything. My husband, my home, even my dog since she is illegal in Ontario. One of the worst things is that I will lose my daughter. It will kill me if that happens because I do not know if I will ever see any of them again. Canada is a long way away and financially I can't see either Charles or Mary being able to get there very often, if at all. I want to cry every time I even think about it.

So Mary and I went yesterday and got matching tattoos. Now, just in case something does happen and I have to leave, we will have this lifetime memento of how much we mean to each other. The cherries are for our last name, the pentagram is me and the cross is her.

I think a big part of me is expecting to have to say goodbye. If I am denied my permanent residency here I don't even know how long they give me until I have to leave. I've just been falling apart lately and to protect myself from pain I'm doing the only thing I know how to do. I'm pulling my emotions back from the people here. Then maybe it won't feel as bad for any of us if I have to get on yet another plane and say goodbye.