Tired woman

Can't sleep yet again. So many thoughts run through my mind this time of night and I can't shut them off. My immigration appointment is coming up on the 30th. This will decide if I am allowed to stay in the United States or if I will have to go back to Canada. So I'm nervous about that. Will my family stay together? What happens if I do have to go back? Will I lose my "Heart Dog"? Where would I go? Will I have to get a divorce from my husband? And of course, my insecurites about that. Maybe he'd be happy if I have to leave. Lord knows I'm not the easiest person to live with. Maybe my expectations of him are too high.

Then if I do get to stay, what will I do with the rest of my life? Will I end up being a 50 year old cashier regretting all the things I didn't do with myself? Will I ever have a child? Without medical that is HIGHLY unlikely and I will probably never get medical here. Will my relationship improve once the INS worries are gone? Not that it's bad now. I love him and I know he loves me, but after 6 years of struggling financially, being together constantly, and being two very, VERY different people, there are definitely issues there.

I hate not having any clue what my future holds, even the most basic things.